Amazon.co.uk Review
It’s sick! It’s twisted! It’s House of 1,000 Corpses, and it’s more fun than a wholesome bowl of “Agatha Crispies”! Dropped by two studios (Universal and MGM) and doomed to obscurity until Lions Gate Films gave it a limited theatrical release, Rob Zombie’s gonzo horror flick is a blood-spattered throwback to the gore-fests of the 70s, lending new meaning to the term “box-office gross”. Most critics misunderstood this unbridled exercise in graphic style and violence, but for devoted horror buffs it’s a refreshing rebuttal to the comparatively “polite” frights of the post-Scream era. While paying homage to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House on the Left, Motel Hell and other gory classics, Zombie’s ramshackle plot (two young couples are terrorized by an inbred family of homicidal maniacs) lacks a crucial sense of dread, but his pastiche of vivid colours, grainy fetish-films and photo-negative imagery is guaranteed to hold your attention. A bona-fide cult item, this House is definitely worth a visit… if you dare. –Jeff Shannon

House of 1,000 Corpses

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Amazon.co.uk Review
It must be stressed that despite the fact that it was produced in 1973 and stars both Christopher Lee and Britt Ekland, The Wicker Man is not a Hammer Horror film. There is no blood, very little gore and the titular Wicker Man is not a monster made out of sticks that runs around killing people by weaving them into raffia work. Edward Woodward plays Sergeant Howie, a virginal, Christian policeman sent from the Scottish mainland to investigate the disappearance of young girl on the remote island of Summer Isle. The intelligent script by Anthony Schaffer, who also wrote the detective mystery Sleuth (a film with which The Wicker Man shares many traits), derives its horror from the increasing isolation, confusion and humiliation experienced by the naïve Howie as he encounters the island community’s hostility and sexual pagan rituals, manifested most immediately in the enthusiastic advances of local landlord’s daughter Willow (Britt Ekland). Howie’s intriguing search, made all the more authentic by the film’s atmospheric locations and folkish soundtrack, gradually takes us deeper and deeper into the bizarre pagan community living under the guidance of the charming Laird of Summer Isle (Lee, minus fangs) as the film builds to a terrifying climax with a twist to rival that of The Sixth Sense or Fight Club. –Paul Philpott

The Wicker Man

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Amazon.co.uk Review
It’s hard not to feel there’s something wrong when Army of Darkness, the third entry in Sam Raimi’s lively Evil Dead series, opens with a 15 certificate. And indeed, this is not quite the non-stop rollercoaster of splat we’re entitled to expect.

Like Evil Dead II, it opens with a digest-cum-remake of the original movie, taking geeky Ash (Bruce Campbell) back out to that cabin in the woods where he is beset by demons who do away with his girlfriend (blink and you’ll miss Bridget Fonda). Blasted back in time to 12th century England, Ash finds himself still battling the Deadites and his own ineptitude in a quest to save the day and get back home.

Though it starts zippily, with Campbell’s grimly funny clod of a hero commanding the screen, a sort of monotony sets in as magical events pile up. Ash is attacked by Lilliputian versions of himself, one of whom incubates in his stomach and grows out of his shoulder to be his evil twin. After being dismembered and buried, Evil Ash rises from the dead to command a zombie army and at least half the film is a big battle scene in which rotted warriors (nine mouldy extras in masks for every one Harryhausen-style impressive animated skeleton) besiege a cardboard castle. There are lots of action jokes, MAD Magazine-like marginal doodles and a few funny lines, but it lacks the authentic scares of The Evil Dead and the authentic sick comedy of Evil Dead II.

On the DVD: Army of Darkness may be the least of the trilogy, but Anchor Bay’s super two-disc set is worthy of shelving beside their outstanding editions of the earlier films. Disc 1 contains the 81-minute US theatrical version in widescreen or fullscreen, plus the original “Planet of the Apes” ending, the trailer and a making-of featurette. Disc 2 has the 96-minute director’s cut, with extra slapstick and a lively, irreverent commentary track from Raimi, Campbell and co-writer Ivan Raimi, plus yet more deleted scenes and some storyboards. The fact that the film exists in so many versions suggests that none of them satisfied everybody, but fans will want every scrap of Army in this one package. –Kim Newman

Army of Darkness

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Amazon.co.uk Review
It’s silly, it’s superficial, it’s so desperately earnest about its tale of time-spanning love that you almost wish for a cheap flatulence gag just to break the solemn mood. But there is something so unabashedly gushy and entertaining about Somewhere in Time that you can’t begrudge its enduring popularity. The film has become a staple of romantic-movie lovers since its release in 1980, and endless showings on cable TV have turned it into a dubious classic of sorts–a three-hanky weepy that anyone can enjoy as a guilty pleasure or a beloved favourite, with no apologies necessary. In his first film after the star-making success of Superman, Christopher Reeve stars as a contemporary playwright who visits a posh hotel and sees the portrait of an actress (Jane Seymour) who had performed there in 1912. He becomes obsessed with this beautiful woman and learns all he can about her, and then discovers a method of hypnotically transporting himself backward in time to meet her. “Is it … you?” she says upon seeing the lovestruck playwright, and it’s clearly a mutual attraction. But even the slightest reminder of the playwright’s modern time can jar him from his seemingly real existence in the past, so his wonderful love affair is constantly just a step from being stolen away. Based on Richard Matheson’s novel Bid Time Return, this flaky film may strain one’s tolerance for plot holes and corny romance, but it’s hard to deny its lasting appeal–and let’s face it, guys, it’ll make wives and girlfriends swoon if they are in a tearjerker mood. –Jeff Shannon

Somewhere in Time

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