Monster (aka I don’t want to be born) [1980] [DVD]

Mr. Jonathon T. Beckett

at 12:38 am

Review by Mr. Jonathon T. Beckett for Monster (aka I don’t want to be born) [1980] [DVD]
Rating: (3 / 5)
In many ways this is a terrible film. Its like watching a multiple pile up on the motorway. However, its also one of the ‘so bad its good’ brigade of British Horror films that hid amongst the classics of the 60’s and 70’s.

Difficult to believe that the director of this was also responsible for the brilliant Hammer horrors ‘Taste The Blood Of Dracula’ and ‘Hands Of The Ripper’.

Where to start? Well, how about at the club where Joanie works as a stripper. Its a cross between The Good Old Days, Casino Royale and Stringfellows, with an enthusiastic, easily pleased audience. Then theres the soundtrack, an irresistable mix of acid jazz,porn soundtrack heaven and Ceefax’s greatest hits. You have to feel sorry for the cast as they all stagger round speaking their lines with some conviction, with is quite an achievement considering the material they’ve been given. Special praise must go to Donald Pleasance for maintaining his dignity throughout.

So why, having made fun of this film in the last paragraph, do I love it so much. Well, for all the above reasons, for a start. A real guilty pleasure, but not one I’d admit to under torture.

Simon Davis

at 1:04 am

Review by Simon Davis for Monster (aka I don’t want to be born) [1980] [DVD]
Rating: (3 / 5)
This film from 1975 known under a number of titles such as “The Monster”, “The Devil Within Her” and “I Don’t Want To Be Born” always seems to raise feverish opinions among viewers ranging from it being a complete piece of cinematic junk, to it being an awful camp classic not to be missed, right through to it being an interesting film from the then popular “Demon Baby” genre that flourished in the early 1970’s. I personally love this film despite being well aware of all its very obvious short comings. Accused of being a rip off,(of sorts) from the classic “The Omen” the film I feel explores another angle on the demonic child idea with some admittedly unintentional laughs along the way. Filled as it is with horny curse delivering dwarfs, strippers, determined nuns and Ralph Bates struggling with an extrememly uneven italian accent (why did they have to make him and his sister Italian in the story?) the film perhaps for the wrong reasons will definately stay in your mind after a viewing.

“The Monster” was produced around 1975 in the dying days of the great British companies such as Hammer and Amicus and in some respects this film does resemble the later products of those legenedary film comapnies. Despite the often bizzare storyine “The Monster” does however have some very strong points to it. A terrific cast is headed by Joan Collins who really does give her all to her role as the mother who becomes scared of her own child when it begins to display an extremely nasty side to its character behind the innocent facade. Joan once again proves what a good actress she can be when given something to work with and while this role would never win any Oscars she is excellent as the central character. Ralph Bates has actually little to do here and as stated previously he is saddled with playing an Italian which never really comes off. In the role of Sister Albana, Eileen Atkins does what she can as the determined nun who performs the exorcism on Joan’s baby. Horror veteran Donald Pleasance as Dr. Finch who delivers the demon baby also manages to play it all seriously which helps the viewer overcome some of the hilarious parts in the script. And those moments are aplenty in “The Monster”!! The horny dwarf called Hercules played by George Clayton has to be seen to be believed and somehow here he possesses magical powers as he curses Joan’s unborn baby and manages to superimpose his face over the baby in the crib at regular intervals. This whole supernatural element to the story is never explained which I find baffling and despite being spurned by Joan romantically it seems hard to believe he would try to destroy her life so utterly for a simply rejection of his adavances in Joan’s dressing room. The stripper club where Joan works prior to her marriage is also alot of fun with its sleazy owner, gaudy costumes (what little there is of them!) and tart talking girls audtioning for parts in the “revue”. I personally love the mid 1970’s look and feel to the film and there is real interest when the story takes the characters out into the streets where we are treated to some wonderful views of London circa 1975.

While no classic this film is still alot of fun and since all the actors play the story totally straight I believe you will find yourself sticking with it to the disturbing climax. They sure don’t make horror films like this anymore, mores the pity but I’d recommend it to any film fans who like demon possessed stories that became so common on screen in the mid 1970’s. Sit back and enjoy Joan Collins battling for her life against the angelic child from hell in director Peter Sasdy’s “The Monster”.