Eegah

Daniel Jolley

at 12:17 am

This movie is so bad that Crow and Tom have to wash the Eegah off of them after it’s over. There are some horrible things in this movie: Richard Kiel, of course; spasmodic dancing; truly icky singing; the slightly too friendly relationship between father and daughter; and, worst of all, Arch Hall, Jr.’s face and hair. Yes, for as long as there have been movies, there have been bad, seemingly inexplicable movies, and this is certainly one of them. It all starts with greasy Arch’s girlfriend encountering a “giant” on the road; no one believes her story, of course, until the gang finds a big footprint several feet off the road. Suddenly, her dad, who dresses and acts like some kind of scientist, is convinced that some kind of prehistoric creature is living in the hills and sets off to find him. What happens is that Eegah, Richard Kiel wearing one of the fakest beards and moustaches I’ve ever seen, finds him. The trip to pick up dear old dad gives Arch a chance to show off his dune buggy in the desert-he has water in the tires, you know-but, wouldn’t you know it, Eegah comes along and snatches Roxie. Back in Eegah’s cave, Roxie and her dad meet Eegah’s mummified family, drink nasty sulfur water, and try to humor the big fellow. Quite ickily, Roxie decides to give her father a shave and seems to enjoy it just a little too much. Meanwhile, Arch is whining all over the desert sands and cliffs in search of his girl. In the end, we learn that you can take Eegah out of his cave, but you can’t take the caveman out of Eegah.

Eegah is the role Richard Kiel was made to play, seeing as how he just has to run around in a fake animal skin and growl and mutter incoherently. Luckily for us, this allows Joel and the Bots extra time to throw in one zinger after another, making this a better than average experiment in terms of the laughs it engenders. This is also the episode where Dr. Forrester replaces Frank’s blood with antifreeze, and you don’t want to miss that. For no extra charge, you even get the guys’ impersonations of such beloved television characters as Uncle Joe from Petticoat Junction and Mr. Haney from Green Acres. Order in the next 20 minutes, and you will also get the catchphrase sweeping the nation, delivered by a disembodied voice in the film, “Watch out for snakes!” While this is by no means my favorite MST3K episode, it is one I would not do without.
Rating: 5 / 5

Sir Squidshaker

at 2:06 am

Mystery Science Theater should be viewed by every fan of Sci-fi, B-movies and Horror, so long as you have a sense of humour. It may take one or two episodes to get into, but once it grabs you, you’ll never escape.

The premise is simple, a man is shot into space and is forced to watch the worst movies ever made. We share his pain, and movies are shown in almost-full-length. To keep himself sane Joel (Or mike, depending on the season) are joined by two wise-cracking robot friends who help him tear the horrid movies apart in the manner which they deserve.

This episodes coins the legendary phrase “Watch out for snakes.” which I think is very wise. Thank you mysterious off-camera voice, I will.
Rating: 5 / 5