Devil Hunter

A. Griffiths

at 1:27 pm

How this film got to be a “video nasty” in the UK I will never know…it’s one of the most dire and dreary excuses for “entertainment” I have ever seen. The plot centres around the kidnapping of a glamorous actress, who is hauled off to some remote island while her captors send off their ransom demands. The actress’s father (or whoever) dispatches two mercenaries to collect the girl. Arriving on the island they try to outwit the kidnappers and save the girl. This is all very boring, so to liven things up, the film gives us a tribe of natives who are minding their own business and sacrificing young maidens regularly to a hideous mutant person who like to attack his victims and eat their skin off. I’m sure you can guess the rest.

Even if that was an interesting plot, the film manages to bungle absolutely everything. If you’ve ever seen any European cannibal shockers from the 1980’s before, you might be hoping for some gory thrills, but there’s nothing like that here. Because this is a Jess Franco film, all the nudity is upped, and everything else is botched. All we have are cheap shoddy effects, dreadful acting and terrible dubbing. Here’s a quick checklist of the crud you’re going to have to put up with if you choose to sit through this:

1. A tribe of natives who look like a rounded up bunch of staff from the local bars, kitted out with with loincloths and pointy sticks. There isn’t even a token nod to trying to assemble people with a similar ethnic background to make up this so called “lost tribe”.

2. A prowling monster who turns out to be a tall black guy with two crusty ping bong balls stuck over his eyes. He also “eats” skin in a way you would only do while being filmed in close-up for shock effect…i.e with his mouth wide open so that everything falls out of it all the time…can’t be that hungry, then?

3. A lead villain with an atrocious plummy British accent and who also has no idea how to make an exchange of hostage for cash – he messes it up every time!

4. Fake blood that looks like glue – it actually hangs down in rubbery strings!

5. Typical cheap sensationalism by having the women naked or topless almost all the time (ok I know some people are not going to complain about that). But I’d like to know how men can rape through a skirt and with their trousers still on.

6. Editing so bad that you won’t know what’s going on most of the time – check out the climactic fight. I had to watch it twice to work out what happened (How did that stick get there? What’s he standing on? How did he fall over that cliff?).

7. A “bail out” from a flying helicopter that clearly shows that the helicopter is actually on the ground.

8. Truly excruciating dialogue:

Reporter: “Could you give me an opinion of the men in our country?”

Actress (while pulling ridiculous Jan Brady-esque modelling poses): “I have no opinion of men – I just love them!”

Mercenary (after being asked to hand over the cash): “There’s no deal unless you bring the girl with you and come un-armed”.

Kidnapper: “Ok, as you wish!” (Erm, never done this before, pal?)

Naked girl at the mercy of two mercenaries with guns: “When the tribe catches a young girl, they sacrifice her to their god, who eats her heart!”

Mercenary: “Rest now and don’t worry about it”.

Naked girl: “Thank you!” (she then immediately falls asleep).

7. Plus a hundred other things.

It’s all absolute trash. Be glad someone else has sat through this so you don’t have to.
Rating: 1 / 5